Normally when we think about mourning, we think of it in relation to the death of a loved one, or someone dear to us. Losing someone that we love can have devastating effects on how we interact with the world around us. 

In some spaces, we slap on a straight face, put our heads down, and trudge forward. In others, we try to remove ourselves all together, finding anything that we can use to distract ourselves so that we don’t have to face the reality that is before us. Sometimes, we are angry with ourselves or others for the loss that we have suffered. Still others, often when we are alone and feel we won’t burden anyone, we weep. We long for the person we lost and cringe at the future without them. 

Recently, I remembered that mourning doesn’t have to be about the death of someone you love. I realized that I need to give myself permission to grieve the way that I thought my life would have turned out by now. I need to ache for the friendship I used to have with one of my closest friends. To lament the fact that I am no longer working at a job that I am passionate about. 

I just need time to be sad. To weep. To be present with the fact that life sets you up to have expectations and because of this, there are so many disappointments. I need to let myself be angry, not at anyone in particular, but just to exist with it. Instead of trying to force myself to move forward before I am ready, I need to take the time to remember how things were, celebrate it, grieve it, and let it go. 

It’s okay to grieve the things that you have lost, or the things that you wish would have been. But we also know that beyond this, there will be dancing, laughing, and peace. It may seem hazy, it may seem unclear how we could ever possibly get there. But, God promises us this time and time again. If not here on this earth (though I believe we will see glimpses), then there will come a day when there will be absolutely nothing BUT dancing, laughter, and complete and total peace. 

For now, weep with me, friends. Mourn for what you’ve lost and lament, knowing that while we do, we have a God who has experienced the heartache of loss more deeply than we can ever comprehend. 

Check out: Weep with Me by Rend Collective 

“For everything there is a season,
a time for every activity under heaven.
A time to be born and a time to die.
A time to plant and a time to harvest.
A time to kill and a time to heal.
A time to tear down and a time to build up.
A time to cry and a time to laugh.
A time to grieve and a time to dance.
A time to scatter stones and a time to gather stones.
A time to embrace and a time to turn away.
A time to search and a time to quit searching.
A time to keep and a time to throw away.
A time to tear and a time to mend.
A time to be quiet and a time to speak.
A time to love and a time to hate.
A time for war and a time for peace.

What do people really get for all their hard work? I have seen the burden God has placed on us all. Yet God has made everything beautiful for its own time. He has planted eternity in the human heart, but even so, people cannot see the whole scope of God’s work from beginning to end. So I concluded there is nothing better than to be happy and enjoy ourselves as long as we can. And people should eat and drink and enjoy the fruits of their labor, for these are gifts from God.

And I know that whatever God does is final. Nothing can be added to it or taken from it. God’s purpose is that people should fear him. What is happening now has happened before, and what will happen in the future has happened before, because God makes the same things happen over and over again.” — Ecclesiastes 3:1-15