I am built for community in more ways than one. Not only do I believe that God has created us all with the innate need and desire to be part of a community, but on top of it, he created me, in particular, to be an extrovert with an immense passion for people.

Each Sunday I get the opportunity to serve alongside and fellowship with my church family. I do not use the word family lightly in this conversation. I feel strongly for these people and the community we have built, and the ministry we are doing. I love the time I get to spend with them on Sunday mornings and the occasional other fellowship times sprinkled throughout the weeks.

I don’t know what it is about this place. There are people outside of it that I have deeper, longer connections with, and I love them profoundly, as well. I guess it’s sort of that bond of a linked call to serve and build up our church in the name of Jesus that has brought us together in this familial connection.

Serving alongside one another on Sunday mornings is a joy. Sometimes we part ways after church, sometimes we head to a local joint for lunch and fellowship. Sometimes I leave and I am ready for a nap and can’t wait to get home. Sometimes (really, more often than not), my heart is not prepared to leave the community, and I find myself missing it as soon as I shut my car door.

On days like today, even though some of us connected for lunch after church, I felt the sadness welling up in my throat even as I was sitting among them. The loneliness began to creep in before I had even left them. I began to anticipate the stark contrast of joyful, Christ-filled community and getting in my car and going home where it would just be my little pup and me for the remainder of the afternoon.

That stark contrast brings me to tears too often, reminding me that while I have so many rich, deep relationships in my life, at the end of the day, I will go home alone. This is when my mind flees to places where the enemy’s lies are easier to believe. He seeks me out to whisper them in my ear when he knows I am the most vulnerable – when I am isolated. This perhaps another reason being alone is so difficult for me.

I don’t have a warm fuzzy ending for you on this one. I have a truth, but I am fully aware that this struggle that I have, will continue to be one, for all of my days, even if God intends for me to have a partner in life or a traditional little family of my own.

So, here’s the truth: Jesus bridged the gap between God and Man. When he left, the Holy Spirit came to dwell within us and comfort us, and to wipe away our tears when we cry about our loneliness. The Holy Spirit didn’t come to simply “make it better”, but He came to walk alongside of us in all of it – joys, struggles, sadness, anger, confusion, grief – and to point us back to Jesus in the midst of it all.

If you love me, keep my commands. And I will ask the Father, and he will give you another advocate to help you and be with you forever – the Spirit of truth. The world cannot accept him, because it neither sees him nor knows him. But you know him, for he lives with you and will be in you. I will not leave you as orphans; I will come to you. — John 14:15-18

I almost didn’t write this. This is personal. This is a struggle I don’t share with many people. I am not asking for your encouraging comments born out of pity, I am just writing what I felt God laying on my heart this evening and being obedient to His promptings.