My Well Runs Deep, but It Never Runs Dry

There is something bright about seeing someone so passionate about a subject. I find myself drawn to these people, wanting to know more about who they are, what their story is, and what makes them tick. I don’t even have to be remotely interested in what they are passionate about to be drawn in and hooked on what they are saying.

I can remember one of these people in particular who was passionate about math. That’s right – math. Specifically, he was really interested in graph theory. I met this person once and was subconsciously drawn in by his passion for this subject, listening to him for at least 30 minutes of our short few hours together try and explain graph theory to me.

It is not as though I was at all interested in graph theory by any means. But I was interested in the fact that this person could be so intricately and uniquely woven to have a love so deep for something that for most might seem daunting, useless, or boring.

Tonight, I met such a person and left feeling energized by her zeal, yet saddened by my own seeming lack of passion or direction. I often feel like a jack of all trades and a master of none. For me, this applies not only to my skills, but also my focus of life.

The past year I have felt lost and unsure of what is next. I spend a lot of time wondering if this is just it. If I have ‘peaked’ in my life and ministry and that all that is left is to wait around to meet Jesus face-to-face.

Deep in my heart, I know that there is something more on the horizon, but it has been difficult for me to see it, and more than that – to believe it. Most of me – body, mind, and spirit – wants to succumb to the deception that life on this earth doesn’t have much to offer.

And yet, a tiny flicker of a flame still lives deep inside of my heart, resting, waiting for a little kindling to make it grow again. It’s that flame that on the darkest of days holds me fast and reminds me there is someone greater than the universe who loves me and came for me to have a life and have it to the full.