Tonight, I’ve spent a lot of time reading blogs about how to come up with something to blog about. 

Really, I should be better prepared. Thursday inevitably comes every week and with itthe personal  deadline for my blog. 

A small part of my brain always tempts me to just forget about it and add another missed blog to the growing number that I need to make up (that number is currently 3  in case you were wondering)

Another part will not let me fail, will not let me let go of the resolution I made to blog once a week. I do not understand this dedication or where it comes from because it is so not typical of my nature to keep promises I made to myself. 

But I’m here again at 10:32 on a Thursday night with nothing to say. 

I find it hard to believe that I’ve even made it this far at all and as I reflect, I wonder what in the world I’ve found to write about for the past 9 months. 

Actually, I’ve been reflecting a lot recently. 

Typically on the other side of the big events in my life I recognize the reasons why these situations happened how and why they did. 

But as I sit here on what I feel like is the other side, I find myself just as confused as I was from day one. Not understanding why I had to endure what I did. Feeling guilty about how I handled it and looking around every bend for a fresh start only to face what seems like one more challenge or waiting game. 

We’re not meant to live like this, right? I mean this can’t be what it’s all about?! Living, making money, spending money, dying? 

Thankfully, I know for my life, there’s greater purpose in my mundane now because it is part of my eternity. It doesn’t change what I’m going through now, it only changes the perspective through which I look at it. 

I’m not meant for this world, but I’m called to live in it for the here and now. And if part of that calling is to google inspiration for blog posts, come up with nothing and just start writing until something moderately intelligible comes out, then I need to let my heart be content with that reality in the moment. 

What is God calling you to in this moment in eternity?