I have been “searching” for a job for about 2 months now. I use the term “searching” lightly because I haven’t put in a ton of effort toward it until recently.  Sure, I have been looking at jobs, and deciding what I think I might like to do, but it has only been the past few weeks that I have been truly applying and getting down to business.

In the beginning I thought that I was avoiding it because I needed some major healing from a situation I wrote about previously in my blog Get Behind me, Satan. And I believe in part that was/is true.

However in working this morning on my resume and looking at different jobs that I could do, I feel hopeless in it.

What’s the point of even working on my resume and applying for jobs, when I don’t really have many networking connections, or that much professional experience to speak of, or a master’s degree in anything.

I am not saying that I don’t feel like I don’t have something to offer to an employer. I know that I am a hard worker, and a quick learner, but I also feel without more experience or a specific connection, what is going to make me stand out from the crowd? Why would someone choose to put my resume aside to look at further.

It all seems hopeless. Pointless. I will grudgingly  continue to do it. But I don’t see the point other than to do it so I can make money and pay the bills. And that’s difficult for me to say. Even typing it, I started to tear up. I don’t want that to be my existence, but it’s the only thing that is really motivating me currently. That I have to make a living somehow.

We’re born, we grow up, we make money, then we die.

But wait! There’s more!

Even in the midst of all of the crap that has happened the past couple of months, I know that there is something bigger and better waiting for me on the other side. And that my life on this earth was created to serve my Creator in whatever I do – work, play, life.

So I will press on with the only hope that is true and that satisfies and that is that Christ has won the victory over death for me and that one day I will be in paradise with Him. And until then, I will praise Him in the good and the bad. In the pointless and in the fulfilling moments. In every moment, I will praise.

Here’s a video: With Everything by Hillsong United